Hold on
by Christy aka just me
Summary: The news is always bad. This was a challenge responce as well. It's kind of sad.


Hold On _Hold on, hold on to yourself_   
_for this is gonna hurt like hell_

I couldn't believe the T.V.. I just couldn't. Actually I didn't want to. All I could do was stare blankly at the screen in shock. Finally Bella's voice interrupted into my daze.   
"We don't know if he's hurt."   
"Uh-huh." I couldn't say any more without bursting into tears.   
"Jake, um . . . there's something else . . . "   
"Huh?" I had barely heard her. My mind was reeling. It was about then that I started crying and Bella joined in, mumbling something about Scout and Will being on the train. 

_Hold on, hold on to yourself_   
_you know that only time can tell._

I didn't know if Jake was serious or not. How could we go down there? But I quickly grabbed my jacket and keys.   
"Thanks, Bella." Jake gave me a half-smile through her tears. "You know this means a lot to me."   
"Of course." I answered sympathetically. What she didn't know, was that I had as much anxiety racing through my body as she probably did. I was completely concerned for both Will and Scout. Will because he was such a great friend-we'd grown up together-and Scout because after he told me what he'd found out. That we weren't actually brother and sister, and I'd been having crazy thoughts that we could actually be together. 

_What is it in me that refuses to believe_   
_this isn't easier than the real thing_

I was so glad Bella agreed; I was so scared. All I wanted to do was see Hamilton rushing out of the train safe and give me a great big hug. One of the ones where he picks me up and twirls me around.   
"Oh God, Bella. I hope he's okay!" I started crying again.   
"I'm sure he'll be fine. We're worrying about nothing."   
So she was worried too. Of course, stupid, her friends are in there. Scout and Will are my friends too. But maybe she's right, I'm worrying about nothing.   
But as we neared the crash site, my fears came back. There were countless people both emerging from the wreck and waiting for loved ones to come out.   
The train itself was half on its side, partly on fire, and two of the cars were crumpled. If Hamilton was on one of those cars . . . I raced toward the train.   
"Hold it." A cop stopped me. She pushed me back.   
"No. My boyfriend's on that train!" I screamed at her, tears streaming down my face.   
"I'm sorry. A lot of boyfriends, and children, and other family members are on that train. You have to keep calm and let the rescuers do their job." I could tell that she was trying to be nice, but I didn't care. She was the biggest bitch in the world to me right now. 

_My love, you know that you're my best friend_   
_you know I'd do anything for you_   
_My love, let nothing come between us_   
_my love for you is strong and true_

I knew Jake was probably scared out of her mind. I was too. All I had to do was get out and call her, but then this is Jake, she's probably outside waiting for me. That gave me the extra incentive to stand up. But, damn, I ached all over. I coughed as I choked on some smoke and tried to duck but my chest hurt too bad to keep hunched over like that. It also hurt too bad to stand up straight.   
I felt something wet on the back of my neck. When I put my hand to the back of my head, I felt the urge to vomit. My fingers had scraped across some nerves. After I finished throwing up, I straightened and closed my eyes for a few minutes.   
"Hamilton?" Someone called. I turned to the right. Will Krudski was standing at the door and walked closer. In the poor light, I could see his arm bleeding and bent at an odd angle. I wondered if I was hallucinating. But if I was, wouldn't I dream of Jake instead of Will?   
"Will? What are you doing here?" If I'd known he was on the train, I'd have sat with him, instead of the overweight woman with screaming kids in front of us. Where they were now, I couldn't tell. There weren't any other people in this car besides me and Will.   
"We were going to see Bella and Jake. It was a last minute idea so . . . " He trailed off. "Have you seen Scout?"   
"No. He's on the train?"   
"Yeah. He went for a walk toward the back, just before the train went down."   
"Well, how about if I go look for him? You can go call the girls. They'll be worried."   
"You don't look well, man." He objected.   
"Neither do you." I pointed at his arm. "At least I'll be able to use both my arms."   
"Okay. You're right. I'll go make sure Bella and Jake aren't panicking too much." He headed for the door he came in, and I went in the opposite direction. 

_Am I in heaven here or am I . . ._   
_at the crossroads I am standing_

I lay there, opened my eyes again and looked at the ceiling. There were a few other people in here and only a couple rescue workers. I didn't really care. I was tired and couldn't keep my eyes open a long time. They closed again heavily. 

_Oh, God, if you're out there won't you hear me_   
_I know we've never talked before_

I was getting more concerned watching Jake freak-out every couple minutes. I had hoped Will and Scout were okay, but as the people being rescued were coming out fewer and fewer, I began to lose that hope. Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, Will appeared and I ran to him. As soon as I put my arms around him, he sort of yelped and broke away.   
"My arm." He explained. I then noticed that his left arm was broken.   
"Oh my gosh, Will. We have to get you to an ambulance. You're hurt badly."   
"It's just my arm." He assured me. "I want to stay out here and make sure Scout and Hamilton make it out all right."   
"You saw Hamilton?" Jake asked eagerly. "How was he?" I prayed Will had good news.   
"He seemed all right. He went off to find Scout. He may be in one of the rear cars."   
"Oh no!" I breathed and Will, at last, looked at the train. The back cars had the most damage and were the ones that the paramedics were taking the rest of the people from. All on stretchers.   
Will gasped. "I didn't know it was that bad." I started to feel myself cry, but I was too numb to be sad.   
"Let's just pray they make it out all right." Jake hugged me. 

_Oh God, the man I love is leaving_   
_won't you take him when he comes to your door_

_Am I in heaven here or am I in hell_   
_at the crossroads I am standing_

"Scout?" I heard someone calling my name but I couldn't open my eyes. I was dreaming of Bella. No, wait. It might be Bella. I had to open my eyes. But my whole body hurt so much.   
"Scout. There you are. Are you okay?" It wasn't Bella; it was Hamilton. Only at the moment I recognized him, did I realize my eyes were open.   
"Scout? Can you talk?" He asked, worry in his face. I could see the blood dripping on his neck. I hoped it didn't fall on me.   
"Someone help me!" He shouted at the people who were taking everyone away.   
"That one's dead." One man yelled.   
"That's why he's blinking?" Hamilton yelled back and ripped at the pieces of train on me. That hurt like hell!   
"Aaagghhhh." I practically screamed. That got the rescuers attention. Two of them came over and helped Hamilton pull the debris off. It hurt so intensely, but after a few seconds, I was free. My stomach and chest felt really bad, though. I figured I should say something.   
"Tell Bella . . ." I looked at Hamilton. He shook his head. "You tell Bella." He smiled, and pretty soon I was on a stretcher being wheeled outside. In seconds Bella, Jake and Will rushed over.   
"We have to take them to the hospital." The paramedic tried to get the stretcher to the ambulance.   
"Just a second." Bella stood over me. "How are you feeling?"   
"I love you, Bella." Knowing I had to get it out before anything.   
"No goodbyes. You'll be fine." She started to cry. Tears rolled over her cheeks and fell down on me.   
"I love you, Bella." I repeated.   
"I love you too, Scout." She whispered and kissed me softly on the lips. It was the most amazing kiss I'd ever received and I knew that I could finally close my eyes and rest. 

_So now you're sleeping peaceful_   
_I lie awake and pray_   
_that you'll be strong tomorrow_   
_and we'll see another day_   
_and we will praise it and love the light_   
_that brings a smile across your face_

Crying for about the fiftieth time, I was sitting beside Scout and holding his hand, when I felt someone touch my shoulder.   
"How is he?" Jake asked softly.   
"The doctors can't say. They're giving him a fifty-fifty chance, though. Which is better than he gave himself. He had already said his goodbye. How is Hamilton doing?"   
"A couple broken ribs, a concussion and quite a bit of smoke inhalation. He blames the broken ribs on the hug I gave him." She smiled and rolled her eyes. I smiled back. I was glad that at least one of us was happy. Of course I was happy that Will and Hamilton were all right, but I wanted so much for Scout to open his eyes and talk to me. 

_Hold on, hold on to yourself_   
_for this is gonna hurt like hell_

I wandered tiredly into Scout's room. I was in pain, but at least I was awake.   
His dad had finally come and sat in his room forever. He'd gone downstairs for a coffee and I took the opportunity to sneak out of my room and over to his.   
I sat down beside his bed and looked at all the wires and tubes running to and from the poor guy.   
"Man, open your eyes. You're not much of a host." I tried to laugh, but failed miserably. "They all say I . . . saved your life. Like they would've left you for dead if I hadn't looked for you. Hah! Isn't that something? Kinda sounds like a crock. You ever tell me I saved your life, I'll kick your ass. C'mon, man. I didn't pull that junk off you so you could die in the hospital." I chocked on the word die and hung my head.   
"B-Bell . . ." I looked up. Scout tried to sit up.   
"Woah, buddie, settle down. You're not well."   
"Really?" He tried to laugh, but ended in a coughing fit. "Water." He croaked.   
"What am I, your maid?" But I was just kidding and poured him some water that he could barely drink cause he couldn't raise his head.   
"I gotta see Bella." He replied after drinking a bit of water through a straw.   
"Your dad's here too."   
"Okay. But I really need to see Bella." I got up to go get her. But as I walked away, Scout called out again.   
"And, Hamilton." I turned around. "Thanks for saving my life." Instead of actually cracking him, like I said I was going to, I laughed, and this one sounded real.   
"Don't mention it, man." And I walked out the door to find Bella. 

Epilogue   
Bella was ecstatic when Hamilton told her Scout was asking for her. I don't remember when I ever saw her so happy. I was overjoyed myself because Scout is a good friend and a really cool guy. I realize then, though, that things wouldn't be the same anymore.   
Bella and Scout had been forced to stop being boyfriend and girlfriend, but I knew that their feelings were strong and wouldn't stop loving each other. No matter what.   
Jake and Hamilton would also emerge from this a stronger couple. As it always goes: something like this makes people realize how much they love someone and how scared they are that they would lose them.   
Love makes you do incredible things, and you don't realize who your true friends are until they're almost gone. When you know that someone will risk their life for you, or care enough to pray, then you know that you have the best friends in the whole world, and I am happy to consider these four among my closest friends.   
The End 

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